Good week for:
C-sections, after Janet Johnson of Longview, Texas, gave birth by caesarean section to a 16-pound, 2-foot-long baby, believed to be the largest baby ever born in the state.
Quiet dinners, after Mike Vuick, owner of McDain’s restaurant in Monroeville, Pa., announced he was banning children under 6 because parents no longer try to keep fussing kids quiet. “You know, their child is the center of the universe,” Vuick said.
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Visual aids, after Dr. William Phillips halted his lecture at a Maine hospital about coronary heart disease when an audience member complained of chest pains and collapsed. Phillips and nurses restarted the man’s heart. “I think people will remember the lecture,” Phillips said.
Bad week for:
Safe driving, after Miami officials said they would furlough some city workers because penalties from red-light cameras fell $8 million short of their $10 million forecast.
Gun safety, after Arizona state Sen. Lori Klein answered a reporter’s questions about the pink handgun she carries into the Capitol by pointing it at his chest. Klein admitted the gun was loaded and had no safety, but said, “I just didn’t have my hand on the trigger.”
Meaghan Blanchard, a country singer who called Prince William a “douche” when performing for him and his wife in Prince Edward Island. “I mixed up ‘duke’ and ‘duchess,’ and it came out ‘douche,’” Blanchard explained. “It’ll be something to tell the kids, that’s for sure.”
