The Week contest: Pretentious Title - June 3, 2011

Welcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.

Click here for results of last week's contest: Sorry Tattoo

Results: In light of the new Tony Kushner play, “The Intelligent Homosexual’s Guide to Capitalism and Socialism with a Key to the Scriptures,” we asked you to come up with an even more pretentious name for a Broadway show.

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THE WINNER: Kant, Wittgenstein, and Jung Walk into a Bistro

Edward Gordon, Austin, TX

SECOND PLACE: The Thermodynamic Molecular Physics of Chance Collides with the Quantum Particle Accelerator of Love: A Five-Night Musical Whimsy

Mark Miller, Los Angeles

THIRD PLACE: If You Have to Ask What the Ticket Price Is, Go See a Movie

Larry & Luann Bonier, Jamestown, RI

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Tony K. Is Alive and Gay and Living So Much Better than You in New York

Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA

A Comedy Someone Will Have to Explain to You

Angela James, Westminster, MD

Romeo & Juliet Without Vampires or Werewolves

Mike Paul, Carrboro, NC

The Habitually-Correct Liberal Whose Arms were Just Right to Argue with God and Rule the Universe and Critique Proust

Christina Heinsman, Whitestone, NY

The Unending Struggle to Maintain Emotional Equilibrium after Discovering One’s Life Has Been Spent with an Unsuitable Loofa

Clayton Schulz, Louisville, KY

The Quintessentially Urbane Metrosexual’s Journey (Portrayed in Song, Dance and Spectacle) from Parochialism to Enlightenment

Frank Letchworth, Knoxville, TN

The Story of a Salesman Who Dies, But Only in a Dramatic Sense – Hey, Pay Attention

Edmund Conti, Raleigh, NC

It’s All About Me (and I Don’t Mean YOU!)

Keith R. Patterson, Sanford, ME

The Penis Chronicles Meet that Other Play to Discuss Mutual Interests

Jack J. Pranther, Hendersonville, NC

The Intelligent Homosexual’s Guide to Capitalism and Socialism with a Key to the Scriptures: The Epic Sequel

Michael D’Amato, Edison, NJ

The Spread of Effect of the Aesthetics of Pseudo-Dionysius, Translated from Learned Greek into Incomprehensible English. (The first part of that actually IS the title of my doctoral dissertation. Google it!)

Dr. Laurence J. James, Comins, MI