Welcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.
Click here for results of last week's contest: Happy Meal
Results: Now that intimate screenings and pat-downs are underway, we asked you to predict the next security innovation at the airport check-in line. You touched us with:
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WINNER: Notice: Your clothing may be reclaimed in the baggage area at your final destination.
E. Milton Wilson, Claremont, CA
SECOND PLACE: Walk-Thru Colonoscopy
Carol Wagener, Seattle
THIRD PLACE: Two character witnesses required per passenger
Jagdish Dalal, Avon, CT
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
Pre-warmed Robotic Cavity Cameras
Terry Davis, Troutdale, OR
Explosive-sniffing ferrets will be inserted into your clothing
Ashley Ryan, Catonsville, MD
Flyers must dance while receiving pat-downs
Mike Paul, Carrboro, NC
Kindly bend forward and grab your ankles
James Hake, Naperville, IL
Your choice: Hair or spit
Marie McIntosh, Frankford, DE
"Freedom Enemas"
Roy Duggan, Memphis
Teacher recommendation required
Adina Friedman, Austin
You must "friend" TSA on Facebook
Beth Farris, San Francisco
Gowns open in the back, please
Wendy Eisendrath, Tumwater, WA
The "Spelunk"
Joe Abbott, Chico, CA
Third base
Andrew Daniels, Hickory, NC
The TSA will start a second line for those who just want a pat-down but don’t want to fly
Edmund Conti, Raleigh, NC
Everyone will have to jump rope 25 times to see if anything falls out
Rochelle Aronson, Oceanside, NY
They will confiscate our milk money and give us a wedgie
Gary Brouillet, Downers Grove, IL
To reduce the Federal budget, TSA pat-downs will from now on be performed entirely by volunteers
David Russell, Beaufort, SC
RFK Jr.'s focus on autism draws the ire of researchers
Protein obsession is oversaturating the health food space
Codeword: April 23, 2025
