Good week for:
Fast thumbs, after a 19-year-old Boulder, Colo., man, who had been forced into the passenger side of his car by five kidnappers, typed out a text message that he’d been kidnapped. Police quickly apprehended the kidnappers.
The police force of Budaors, Hungary, which collectively won $16 million in the lottery. The 15-person squad resigned on the spot.
Raising awareness, after the Maldives government held an underwater Cabinet meeting to draw attention to the dangers of global warming. The small island nation, which is less than 3 feet above sea level, staged the half-hour meeting at a depth of 20 feet, with Cabinet ministers and the president in full scuba gear.
Bad week for:
Lard, after Mexico City put 1,300 of its heaviest police officers on a diet, because 70 percent of the city’s 70,000-member police force is overweight.
Colin Chapman of Britain, whose wife, Jenny, was found by a sleep clinic to be the loudest snorer on record, with her snores reaching a level of 111.6 decibels—louder than the noise from a spinning washing machine, diesel truck, or low-flying jet. Mr. Chapman has taken refuge in a separate bedroom.
Cruising, after an Italian couple sued a cruise line for $4,500, claiming that they had not been told they had booked a trip on Italy’s first gay cruise. They said they were the only straight people among the 1,500 guests onboard, and that the events frequently left them “uncomfortable” and “embarrassed.”