Fast thumbs, and more

Good week for:

Fast thumbs, after a 19-year-old Boulder, Colo., man, who had been forced into the passenger side of his car by five kidnappers, typed out a text message that he’d been kidnapped. Police quickly apprehended the kidnappers.

The police force of Budaors, Hungary, which collectively won $16 million in the lottery. The 15-person squad resigned on the spot.

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Raising awareness, after the Maldives government held an underwater Cabinet meeting to draw attention to the dangers of global warming. The small island nation, which is less than 3 feet above sea level, staged the half-hour meeting at a depth of 20 feet, with Cabinet ministers and the president in full scuba gear.

Bad week for:

Lard, after Mexico City put 1,300 of its heaviest police officers on a diet, because 70 percent of the city’s 70,000-member police force is overweight.

Colin Chapman of Britain, whose wife, Jenny, was found by a sleep clinic to be the loudest snorer on record, with her snores reaching a level of 111.6 decibels—louder than the noise from a spinning washing machine, diesel truck, or low-flying jet. Mr. Chapman has taken refuge in a separate bedroom.

Cruising, after an Italian couple sued a cruise line for $4,500, claiming that they had not been told they had booked a trip on Italy’s first gay cruise. They said they were the only straight people among the 1,500 guests onboard, and that the events frequently left them “uncomfortable” and “embarrassed.”