Downey’s far-out search for self

Robert Downey Jr. feels so uncharacteristically content these days that he no longer knows who he is, says Erik Hedegaard in Rolling Stone.

Robert Downey Jr. feels so uncharacteristically content these days that he no longer knows who he is, says Erik Hedegaard in Rolling Stone. Recovered from his infamous drug problems, happily married, and reveling in the success of Iron Man and Tropic Thunder, the 43-year-old actor says he is eager to embrace his real identity, if only he knew what that was. “I’m between two phases right now, and the transition can be tricky,” he says. “I’m still not human, and this past year has been part of a humanization process. Right now it’s still a void. We tend to think of the void as an abyss or a vacuum with nothing there. In fact, it’s a new road, and what you should do on this new road is close for repairs.” Asked to explain, he says he’s now grappling with the larger metaphysical questions, and how his tumultuous life story fits in to the larger universe. “I mean, if the cosmos is a loving, healing thing that also spins real fast and erupts and does violent stuff, and if there really is some kind of order to the whole thing, then everything that’s led up to this moment has to be part of it.” While he gropes for answers, he’s trying to keep things simple. “In this transition phase, I really am trying to live as much like a lizard as I can. Hot, rock, sun, fly, tongue. My identity was written on the wall by ancient and formidable guides and forces. I’m such a work in progress at the moment. It’s crazy.”

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