Bad Hair
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Andrew Reale
Cause he the real deal, yo! Cause he the real deal, yo!Cause he the real deal, yo!Cause he the real deal, yo!
Gene Newman
Cause he not the real deal, yo! Cause he not the real deal, yo!Cause he not the real deal, yo!Cause he not the real deal, yo!
Congressional privilege
when Rep. Sanford Bishop (D–Ga.) confronted a long line for an airplane bathroom and demanded that flight attendants give him a paper cup.
Bizarre political pronouncements
as Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura announced he will not seek re-election, reducing America’s inventory of wrestling, sports-announcing governers by 100 percent.
Congressional privilege
When Rep. Sanford Bishop (D'“Ga.) confronted a long line for an airplane bathroom and demanded that flight attendants give him a paper cup.
Bizarre political pronouncements
As Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura announced he will not seek re-election, reducing America's inventory of wrestling, sports-announcing governers by 100 percent.
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Rough justice
when Oswaldo Martinez, a 28-year-old Panamanian accused of murder, attempted to escape from prison.
Polish jokes
as Poles finished first among all Europeans in a test of history and current events sponsored by Reader’s Digest.
Open government
as authorities in Tijuana installed Internet-connected video camera in police stations and jails to prove to viewers across the world that Mexican cops no longer take bribes or torture prisoners.
Foresight
as the Tampa Bay Devil Rays had to postpone Jason Tyner Bobblehead Day after honoree Jason Tyner, batting .214, was sent to the minors.
Italian women
after an inventor unveiled a microchip-equipped line of panties that sound a loud alarm when the wearer’s bottom is pinched.
National security
when parts for U.S. spy planes and other classified equipment turned up on eBay.
Cutthroat capitalism
after an Italian prostitute was arrested for charging customers too little.
after a Montana cowboy tried to rescind a $2,000 tip he left for a waitress on an $11 tab.
Cutthroat capitalism
after an Italian prostitute was arrested for charging customers too little.
after a Montana cowboy tried to rescind a $2,000 tip he left for a waitress on an $11 tab.
Chicken pluckers
whose repetitive-stress injuries may heal now that a new breed of featherless poultry is headed for the market.
Tough guys
after a Montana man brandished a pistol in a bar fight, then shot himself in the privates while stuffing the gun into his waistband.
Sacking and pillaging
now that Mongolians are rehabilitating the reputation of Genghis Khan.
Little boys
when six 10-year-olds were yanked off a Colorado playground and sent to detention for playing “army and aliens,” using their fingers as make-believe guns.
Living large
now that plus-size aerobics instructor Jennifer Portnick of San Francisco has persuaded Jazzercize, Inc. to drop its requirement that instructors look fit.
Divas
after Mariah Carey was voted the pop star people most wanted to kick off the planet.
Bargain hunters
now that Linda Lay, wife of ex-Enron chief Ken Lay, is opening a Houston boutique called Jus’ Stuff, where she plans to sell the family’s heirlooms to raise some cash.
Hair rage
now that a jury has convicted Paul Peyton III of assault. Peyton tried to ram his truck into the Idaho salon Fantastic Sam’s after complaining he had received a bad haircut.
Method acting
now that tean actor Robert Iler of The Sopranos has admitted to participating in a mugging that netted $41. Iler, who had pot in his pocket when cops arrested him, escaped jail time with his belated confession.
Hoss and Little Joe
now that a boyhood neighbor of Osama bin Laden’s has revealed that the terrorist was a big fan of the TV show Bonanza. “That was one of the favorites,” Dr. Khaled Batarfi told a Saudi newspaper.
Old bones
when a 90-year-old Scottish woman completed the 26.2-mile London Marathon. Jenny Wood Allen finished in 11 hours and 34 minutes. Two friends crossed the line behind her, so she wouldn’t come in last.
Brazil
after The Simpsons visited Rio de Janiero and found it overrun with monkeys, rats, and bisexual men. Local tourism officials threatened to sue, and the cartoon show’s producers apologized.
Good week, Bad week