11 ridiculous things the media has already compared the 2016 presidential candidates to

Marco Rubio — Arsenal. On their day the most captivating team in the league, they can also be the most disappointing. Pundits praise their sublime natural talent, beautiful play and potential to hit great heights. Sadly for their fans, they always fold just when true success seems within grasp. Is this finally their year? No. [Medium]

Mike Huckabee — Best Dressed. While he was governor of Arkansas, someone gave Huckabee a pair of $3,700 cowboy boots. [Mashable]

Jim Webb — Batman. Not too many people know who former Virginia Sen. Jim Webb is, and while that places his comparison to Bruce Wayne in trouble, it doesn't shatter it entirely. That because, like Bruce and his alter ego Batman, Webb is a proven jack of all trades — businessman, politician, soldier, and filmmaker. Plus, with his defense of the Confederacy during the ongoing Confederate flag debate, he's a bit more old school than most. [Mediaite]

Chris Christie — LSU. Publicly a mess and can be ruthless but may be able to win based purely on bravado. Also probably smells like corn dogs. [Al.com]

Hillary Clinton — Cersei Lannister. With these two, you either love them or love to hate them. Like Cersei Lannister, Clinton's political career has been characterized by rampant corruption and a perpetual cycle of scandals, one after the other. She and Cersei originally derived their political influence from their husbands, and each has since shown a thirst for power that isn't easily satiated. Both women have also proven to be inept at political leadership — Hillary's lack of tangible accomplishments, for instance, even has liberals at a loss for words. However, each woman retains a fiercely loyal group of supporters who entertain their political ambitions. [The College Conservative]

Ted Cruz — The Rich Texan from The Simpsons. These guys have quite a few similarities. They're both Republican, very pro-2nd Amendment, and they are both actually not from Texas (Cruz is from Canada and The Rich Texan is from Connecticut). The Rich Texan's license plate reads "NO SHAME", like Ted Cruz had when he made this video for BuzzFeed. I understand he wanted to do the video to appeal to younger voters and show how he's not a boring, old politician, but come on. If he loses the election, voicing cartoon characters shouldn't be his fall back plan. [The Odyssey Online]

Rick Perry — Bill Belichick. "Indictment, you say? This matters not, you too can win the Super Bowl of American politics." File that under things that Bill might say to Rick. Despite very public transgressions that they were either directly or indirectly related to, they both pretend as if nothing happened. These men are institutions in their respective places of business, so infallibility comes second nature to them. [Seattle PI]

Jeb Bush — Cat from CatDog. Poor Jeb Bush, he will always be in the shadow of his older presidential brother. Much like Cat was always being dragged into the messes that Dog would create on CatDog, Jeb will always have to answer for the mistakes George W. made while he held office. There's no escaping family! [Bustle]

Carly Fiorina — sea sponge. Carly Fiorina doesn't really have any political experience. It seems like she's just sort of hanging out in the political arena, hoping to feel like one of the gang. Hard not to compare her to a humble sea sponge, who is content to chill on the ocean floor, hoping to get seen by snorkelers. [Bustle]

Rand Paul — Hulk Hogan. For years, Hogan was the ultimate "American hero" to millions of his "Hulkmaniacs," telling them to "train, say your prayers, and eat your vitamins." No matter how many bad guys attempted to foil the Hulkster over the years, it was almost always guaranteed that Hogan's good would prevail over evil. In the same way, Senator Paul so often shows himself to be a one-of-a-kind statesman willing to fight for the rights of every American while righting wrongs […] Rather than using the "Atomic Leg Drop" as Hogan did, Paul has been keen on finishing off opponents with a filibuster. [The Libertarian Republic]

Joe Biden — Brie. We probably don't even have to explain this one. Brie is creamy enough to be spread onto any cracker and so soft, it can be completely molded by hand. Although Biden said, "Honest to God, I haven't made up my mind," in response to his candidacy, there is no doubt that if he runs, his campaigning platform may be easily influenced. [Spoon University]