Why I'm weirdly cheered by the 2016 primaries

At least Americans aren't content with the horrible status quo...

Who's pumped?
(Image credit: AP Photo/Patrick Semansky)

Anyone who believes in all-controlling, airtight government conspiracies should reflect on this latest presidential primary.

It's hard to believe this has gone according to anyone's plan. It's exposed the last tiny loophole in the otherwise invincible oligarchy that runs America; you still, regrettably, have to go through the motions of running the candidates past the voters. The voters, the freaking voters — the dingbat, crackpot, ignorant malcontent wackjob voters. And this time around, infuriatingly, the voters keep not voting for the obedient well-vetted technocrats the parties have preselected for them to choose from. No, the voters want mad-scientist socialists or blow-dried reality TV stars for president. It is, horrifyingly, democracy in action.

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