- 1. R. Kelly's sex abuse trial begins
- 2. Jennifer Lopez got Ben Affleck the lamest birthday present
- 3. Paris Hilton plans to wear 10 dresses at her wedding
- 4. Fabio has discovered the secret to eternal youth
- 5. Michael Keaton, star of Marvel and DC films, hasn't watched a comic book movie since 1989
1. R. Kelly's sex abuse trial begins
R. Kelly's disturbing and long-awaited sex abuse trial began Wednesday in Brooklyn. "This case is not about a celebrity who likes to party a lot," stressed Assistant U.S. Atty. Maria Cruz Melendez to the jury, describing Kelly as a "predator" who reeled in young women and boys, including minors, with his "success and popularity," and then "dominated and controlled them physically, sexually, and psychologically." Kelly's accusers, who will appear in court, are expected to describe being singled out at concerts only to arrive at their lodgings and forced to ask for permission from Kelly to eat or go to the bathroom. Kelly's defense lawyers argued that Kelly's accusers were groupies who were "dying to be with him" and only spoke out against him once the public opinion of the singer shifted.
2. Jennifer Lopez got Ben Affleck the lamest birthday present
Jennifer Lopez reportedly got Ben Affleck "exactly what he wanted" for his birthday: a birthday cake. Though not especially original, a source told People that "Ben is not one for big celebrations, so he thought it was perfect." True enough, giving someone a birthday cake on their birthday … makes sense. Still, while most people would probably describe Lopez's gesture as "the bare minimum," the source who spoke with People more cheerfully described it as a "quiet celebration." It certainly is that! At least Lopez and Affleck are more generous with their PDA than with their gift-giving.
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3. Paris Hilton plans to wear 10 dresses at her wedding
News flash: Paris Hilton is "high maintenance." In similarly unsurprising news, she said her wedding is going to be a three-day, televised affair and involve "lots of dresses, probably 10." At the moment, though, planning is "very stressful" for the heiress, who appeared on Tuesday's The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon to discuss her upcoming nuptials to fiancé Carter Reum. Asked if her husband-to-be will have outfit changes, she assured "he's not as high maintenance as I am." As for her wedding checklist, she confessed she's only picked out her wedding dress so far. Only nine to go.
4. Fabio has discovered the secret to eternal youth
Fabio is apparently 62 now, which is both disturbing (oh, the relentless march of time!) and … "sexy"? The smutty literature cover model "looks remarkably like his younger self," according to People, which swooningly reports that his hair can still "catch any breeze." But there might be more sorcery to Fabio's graceful aging than initially meets the eye. As People discloses, "He sleeps in a hyperbaric chamber which, he says, 'reverses the aging process.'" That's a funny way to spell "sold his soul to the devil at the crossroads to be granted eternal youth," but if you're not off-put by his "same unbuttoned silk shirts and eel-skin boots," then, ladies, he's single and still wants to have kids! But take note: a potential soulmate "can't be afraid about bugs" — or having a partner who eerily never seems to age.
5. Michael Keaton, star of Marvel and DC films, hasn't watched a comic book movie since 1989
Is Michael Keaton about to cross from one Marvel universe to another? Don't ask him — the actor will likely have "no idea what you're talking about." Keaton is set to make a highly-anticipated return as Batman in The Flash, as well as a return as the Vulture in the Marvel film Morbius. But it's safe to say he isn't exactly the biggest superhero movie expert on Earth: "After the first Batman, I'm not sure I've ever seen an entire [comic book] movie," Keaton told The Hollywood Reporter. The actor explained that when the filmmakers walked him through various Marvel universe mechanics and plot points on the set of Morbius, it went just a bit over his head. "I'm nodding like I know what the f--- they're talking about," he said. "I go, 'Uh-huh.' And I'm thinking, 'You may as well be explaining quantum physics right now to me.'"
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