Britney Spears apologizes to fans for 'pretending like I've been okay'

Britney Spears got real with her fans on Thursday, writing on Instagram that based on the pictures and videos she posts, "my life seems to look and be pretty amazing," but she doesn't want people to "think my life is perfect because IT'S DEFINITELY NOT AT ALL."

During a public hearing on Wednesday, the 39-year-old singer spoke out against the court-ordered conservatorship she's been under for the last 13 years, calling it "abusive." The experience has been "traumatizing," Spears said, and she is depressed. Her father, Jamie Spears, is the conservator of her $60 million estate, while professional conservator Jodi Montgomery supervises her personal and health matters. Spears told the court they won't let her remove an IUD, despite her wishes to have a baby, or get married.

She referred to her court hearing in the Instagram caption, saying if "you have read anything about me in the news this week," you know that her life isn't all sunshine and roses. "I apologize for pretending like I've been okay these past two years," she added. "I did it because of my pride and I was embarrassed to share what happened to me."

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Spears explained that "pretending that I'm okay has actually helped" her get through this challenging time, and she found that Instagram gave her "a cool outlet to share my presence ... existence ... and to simply feel like I matter despite what I was going through, and hey, it worked..." The caption was attached to an image of a child holding a teddy bear, and the quote, "If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales."