The daily gossip: Leslie Jones compares one unpleasant experience to another, Meghan Markle and Prince Harry plan to spend Christmas in California, and more

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1. Leslie Jones likens this election to 'waiting on an STD test'
2. Meghan Markle and Prince Harry opt to spend Christmas in America
3. Former Bachelorettes send Clare Crawley flowers: 'She's feeling really down'
4. We may not have a president yet, but don't worry, you'll still get to watch The Bachelorette tonight
5. Christine Quinn explains why she needs a tiger as part of her 'full-time security'

published 5 November 2020

1. Leslie Jones likens this election to 'waiting on an STD test'

Saturday Night Live alum Leslie Jones has a way of putting words to what everyone is feeling, as she did during Wednesday night's episode of Late Night. Host Seth Meyers began by asking her how she's handling the slow process to determine the next president of the United States. "It's like waiting on an STD test: Do I got it, man? Do I got it?!" Jones joked. Meyers went along with the metaphor: "But you're feeling like you probably don't have it — is that where we're at right now?" he joked. Jones agreed: "I'm feeling like the test is gonna come back my way."

Meghan Markle and Prince Harry will be home for Christmas … but only in their dreams. The couple have decided against making the trip back to Frogmore Cottage in the midst of the pandemic, despite their U.K. residence reportedly having been "prepped" for their return. "Everyone was so looking forward to catching up with them, as well as Archie," a source told Us Weekly, since the news meant that the 17-month-old will likewise be celebrating the holidays in California. Still, the royal family is "looking forward to making the most of things regardless."

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Bachelorette Clare Crawley is reportedly feeling "really down" amid criticism of her obsession with contestant Dale Moss at the expense of her season's other contestants, former Bachelorette DeAnna Pappas told "The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous" podcast. "On most days, she's feeling really down about the things that people are saying about her online and the editing of the show," Pappas said. "So, actually, the girls and I, we all sent her some flowers today just to let her know that we love her and this is a blip." Pappas additionally defended Crawley for knowing "exactly what she wants." "You want to see people be happy for her and be happy for the love story," she said. "I just don't know if that's going to happen."

Speaking of The Bachelorette, it might take longer than normal to watch Thursday night's episode, particularly if there are breaking developments this evening concerning the future leader of the United States. The fourth episode of Clare Crawley's season was delayed this week, moving from Tuesday to Thursday as to not conflict with ABC's election coverage. But since Election Night is now in its 46th hour, host Chris Harrison clarified that the new episode will indeed still show on ABC on Thursday night, with the network planning to break in if, you know, a president gets elected or something. "But you won't miss a thing," Harrison assured to anyone whose most pressing concern right now is, somehow, Clare Crawley's love life.

Carole Baskin would not approve of Christine Quinn's four-legged body guard. As the Selling Sunset star revealed in a recent episode of MTV Cribs, Quinn keeps a tiger on her property as part of her "full-time security." Quinn explained in an interview with The Daily Star that she lives in a house that was featured on Selling Sunset, which "meant people knew where we live now. That was a little scary to me because we are here a lot." She decided it would be "fun" to get a tiger to scare off would-be trespassers, "so we found this guy who trains tigers as pets and got one." Added Quinn, "I've been within a foot of him and I wasn't nervous at all. He is so friendly."

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Jeva Lange was the executive editor at TheWeek.com. She formerly served as The Week's deputy editor and culture critic. She is also a contributor to Screen Slate, and her writing has appeared in The New York Daily News, The Awl, Vice, and Gothamist, among other publications. Jeva lives in New York City. Follow her on Twitter.