Trump: I am not into coups, but if I was, I wouldn't invite Gen. Milley

With the same verbiage one might use to disclose their dislike for pineapple on pizza, or perhaps the word "moist," former President Donald Trump bravely revealed on Thursday that he's "not into coups!" You know, one of those attempts at overthrowing the government?

Trump's latest "confession" arrived in the form of a statement spent responding to reports that, after the 2020 election, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Mark Milley worried Trump might attempt such a manuever to stay in power.

"I never threatened, or spoke about, to anyone, a coup of our government. So ridiculous!" Trump wrote. He went on to clarify that even if he were interested in organizing a coup, he'd prefer if Milley weren't there. "Sorry to inform you, but an election is my form of 'coup,' and if I was going to do a coup, one of the last people I would want to do it with is General Mark Milley."

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Tough break.