Speed Reads

Last Night on Late Night

Jimmy Kimmel and Trevor Noah joke about Oscar snubs, odd items Trump stole, and vanishing mask mandates

It was a big day in Hollywood, where the Oscar nominations were unveiled, Jimmy Kimmel said on Tuesday's Kimmel Live. "The big winner, nomination-wise, was The Power of the Dog," which "got 12 nominations, one for every person who saw it." Surprisingly, Lady Gaga "did not get nominated, but the biggest snub today, in my opinion — and I'm actually even angry about this, I'm kind of embarrassed to say — is the unforgivable omission of Spider Man: No Way Home." He made his case.

Meanwhile, "we are getting new information on the documents and items our former predator-in-chief grabbed inappropriately on his way out the door," Kimmel said. Those items reportedly include a mysterious piece of clothing and, more puzzlingly, Donald Trump's Sharpie-enhanced map of Hurricane Dorian. That map "seemed like that was one of the few genuinely embarrassing moments for Trump," he said. "He probably took it home to flush it down a gold-plated toilet or something."

"Things are looking up on the Omicron front," and "the lower rate of infection now is causing some schools to start lifting mask mandates, despite medical experts telling them it's too soon to do that," Kimmel said. "Kids will be happy, I guess, although if you notice, it's never the kids complaining about the masks."

"Many blue states are starting to change their tune" on mask requirements, and not just at schools, Trevor Noah said on The Daily Show. "Mask mandates are being repealed for adults, too, mostly because the Omicron wave is subsiding, but also because Democratic politicians" keep taking off their own masks at inopportune times. He pointed to Stacey Abrams but said it's worse when politicians are violating orders they put in place. 

"Look, I'm not an epidemiologist, but maybe, maybe it's a good thing that mask mandates are starting to go away," Noah said. "Students in school will be able to interact normally, Democrats can stop getting tripped up by their own mask mandates, and for me, well, I'll finally be able to tell when the waiter is judging me for ordering off the kids menu."

Noah also addressed the comically long table Russian President Vladimir Putin made French President Emmanuel Macron sit at during their Ukraine talks. "I've been in Zoom meeting where I'm sitting closer to the other person," he joked. "Maybe Putin isn't trying to take over Ukraine because he's evil, maybe he just needs more space for his giant f---ing furniture."