Speed Reads

Last Night on Late Night

Late night hosts joke through highlights from Biden and Putin's big 'Boniva in Geneva'

"Earlier today, President Biden and Russian President Vladimir Putin finally met for their big summit in Geneva," Jimmy Fallon said on Wednesday's Tonight Show. "It was pretty much the opposite of the Friends reunion." Afterward, "the two leaders agreed to keep in touch," he said. "When Biden said 'I'll give you my email,' Putin said, 'I already have your email — and password and Venmo, don't worry about it.'"

Putin was asked if he thinks the U.S. and Russia will now have a better relationship, and he replied, puzzlingly, "There's no happiness in life," Fallon said. "That's actually an excerpt from Putin's new book, Chicken Soup for the Russian Soul."

Yeah, "Putin got dark, man," Trevor Noah said at The Daily Show. Although "'In life there is no happiness,' that's basically how Russian soccer moms say 'Live, laugh, love!' But there was some substance that came out of this summit."

The summit was "shorter than expected, much like Vladimir Putin," Stephen Colbert quipped at The Late Show. "So, just what did they accomplish with their mini-meeting? I dunno. ... The only thing that was exciting about it is that this time it was not the most demoralizing, nauseating, international boot-licking anyone has ever seen," he said. "The Boniva in Geneva didn't have to clear a very high bar, it just had to be less embarrassing than the Stinky in Helsinki."

"Trump had to be so jealous," Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live. "He loved his Sugar Vladdy so much, one compliment from Vladimir Putin, Trump never stopped talking about it." When Biden was asked whether he can trust Putin, he trotted out the old expression, "The proof of the pudding is in the eating it," he said. "You know, there's another expression that goes: 'If Vladimir Putin gives you pudding, don't eat it.'"

Late Night's Seth Meyers extensively recapped 2018's Putin-Trump summit and re-enacted Putin's new no-happiness-in-life line as both Warner Herzog and Christoph Waltz.

"I'm guessing this is why Putin isn't asked to speak at a lot of graduations," James Corden said at The Late Late Show. "He said happiness doesn't exist? I'm like, dude, relax, you just got a free pair of sunglasses!'" Biden's gift of custom aviators tickled Corden. "Biden with a brand ambassador side hustle? I kind of love it," he said. "Tricky, though, figuring out a good present for someone like Vladimir Putin, isn't it? What do you get the man who's killed everything?"