The Week contest: Pork shortage
This week's question: Bacon could soon be both scarce and expensive in California, because only 4 percent of the nation's pig farmers currently comply with new state animal-welfare rules. In seven words or fewer, please come up with a suitably apocalyptic headline for a tabloid story about California's impending shortage of bacon, sausages, and chops.
THE WINNER: "Aporkalypse now"
Judy Echols, Incline Village, Nevada
SECOND PLACE: "Ham-aggedon!"
Diana Mivelli, Seattle
THIRD PLACE: "The pig short"
Bill Levine, Belmont, Massachusetts
"Don't go bacon my heart"
Patty Oberhausen, Fort Wayne, Indiana
Laurel Rose, Pittsburgh
"California can't bring home the bacon"
Joe Ayella, Wayne, Pennsylvania
Devon Engel, Scottsdale, Arizona
"The hams & the ham nots"
Michael Rucker, Los Angeles
"Government: Snout of control"
Douglas Fields, Katy, Texas
"No more hammin' it up in Hollywood"
Diane Evenson, Mcfarland, Wisconsin
"A farewell to hams, bacon and chops"
Randy Frey, Lake Worth, Florida
"We miss piggy"
Doug Ebert, Quincy, Illinois
"No pork shoulder to cry on"
Diane Ross, Lafayette Hill, Pennsylvania
"The missing links"
Janine Witte, Doylestown, Pennsylvania
"Th-th-that's all, folks!"
Kevin Gillogly, Thousand Oaks, California
Mary Jo Astrachan, Oneida, New York
Dave Grossman, Petaluma, California
"Eating low on the hog"
Kenneth Burgan, Grass Valley, California
"No piggly or wiggly in foreseeable future"
Ken Kellam III, Dallas
"California pork being held over a barrel"
Phyllis Klein, New York City