The Week contest: Pork shortage

This week's question: Bacon could soon be both scarce and expensive in California, because only 4 percent of the nation's pig farmers currently comply with new state animal-welfare rules. In seven words or fewer, please come up with a suitably apocalyptic headline for a tabloid story about California's impending shortage of bacon, sausages, and chops.
Click here to see the results of last week's contest: Striking out
RESULTS:
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.

Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
THE WINNER: "Aporkalypse now"
Judy Echols, Incline Village, Nevada
SECOND PLACE: "Ham-aggedon!"
Diana Mivelli, Seattle
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
THIRD PLACE: "The pig short"
Bill Levine, Belmont, Massachusetts
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
"Don't go bacon my heart"
Patty Oberhausen, Fort Wayne, Indiana
"Cal-ham-ity!"
Laurel Rose, Pittsburgh
"California can't bring home the bacon"
Joe Ayella, Wayne, Pennsylvania
"Apocalypse sow"
Devon Engel, Scottsdale, Arizona
"The hams & the ham nots"
Michael Rucker, Los Angeles
"Government: Snout of control"
Douglas Fields, Katy, Texas
"No more hammin' it up in Hollywood"
Diane Evenson, Mcfarland, Wisconsin
"A farewell to hams, bacon and chops"
Randy Frey, Lake Worth, Florida
"We miss piggy"
Doug Ebert, Quincy, Illinois
"No pork shoulder to cry on"
Diane Ross, Lafayette Hill, Pennsylvania
"The missing links"
Janine Witte, Doylestown, Pennsylvania
"Th-th-that's all, folks!"
Kevin Gillogly, Thousand Oaks, California
"Pork chopped!"
Mary Jo Astrachan, Oneida, New York
"Pork pulled!"
Dave Grossman, Petaluma, California
"Eating low on the hog"
Kenneth Burgan, Grass Valley, California
"No piggly or wiggly in foreseeable future"
Ken Kellam III, Dallas
"California pork being held over a barrel"
Phyllis Klein, New York City
-
Trump uses tariffs to upend Brazil's domestic politics
IN THE SPOTLIGHT By slapping a 50% tariff on Brazil for its criminal investigation into Bolsonaro, the Trump administration is brazenly putting its fingers on the scales of a key foreign election
-
3 questions to ask when deciding whether to repair or replace your broken appliance
the explainer There may be merit to fixing what you already have, but sometimes buying new is even more cost-effective
-
'Trump's authoritarian manipulation of language'
Instant Opinion Vienna has become a 'convenient target for populists' | Opinion, comment and editorials of the day