The Week contest: Political self-sabotage

This week's question: A quickly retracted email release from a California congressional candidate announced he was suspending his campaign due to a "lack of joy." In seven words or fewer, create an honest campaign slogan for a candidate who actually hates running for office and would prefer to lose.
Click here to see the results of last week's contest: Crash caption
RESULTS:
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.

Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
THE WINNER: "Yes We Can, But I'd Rather Not"
Hunter Burgan, Los Angeles, California
SECOND PLACE: "Ask Not What I Can Do"
Larry Rifkin, Glastonbury, Connecticut
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
THIRD PLACE: "If I Win, I'll Demand a Recount"
Philip Barnett, Bronx, New York
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
"This Slogan Intentionally Left Blank"
Gary Greene, Greenfield, Massachusetts
"I'll Put the F.U. in Your Future!"
Barbara James, Bedford, Massachusetts.
"I Really Don't Care, Do You?"
Daurelle Harris, Chalfont, Pennsylvania
"Make America British Again"
Ivan Kershner, Salem, South Carolina
"When They Go Low, We Go, 'Bye!'"
Candy Hanks, Burbank, California
"I Dare To Dream (Don't Wake Me)"
Kenneth Burgan, Grass Valley, California
"Hope and Change Takes Too Much Work"
Janine Witte, Doylestown, Pennsylvania
"Read My Lips: Plenty More New Taxes"
Bill Levine, Belmont, Massachusetts
"Send Me Back to My Own House"
Claire Williams, Louisville, Kentucky
"Trust Me: You Shouldn't Trust Me"
Ash Sharman, Fairfax, Virginia
"I'm for Term Limits Measured In Minutes"
Daniel Hicks, Randolph, Massachusetts
"Please Stop Thinking About Tomorrow"
Janet Oberfoell, Monticello, Iowa
"It's Morning in America....Ugh, Mornings"
Barry Heller, Rolling Hills Estates, California
"Whatever My Opponent Says, I Did"
Steve Savage, Dallas, Texas
-
Scientists want to fight malaria by poisoning mosquitoes with human blood
Under the radar Drugging the bugs
By Devika Rao, The Week US Published
-
Crossword: March 31, 2025
The Week's daily crossword
By The Week Staff Published
-
Sudoku medium: March 31, 2025
The Week's daily medium sudoku puzzle
By The Week Staff Published