The Week contest: Cringe clubbing

A DJ playing music in a nightclub as people dance under the neon lights.
(Image credit: Simple Images / Getty Images)

This week’s question: A Manhattan nightclub is letting patrons skip the line if they turn up accompanied by a parent, and is holding weekly dance parties at 5pm for “people who want to go to bed early.” In seven or fewer words, come up with a headline for a tabloid article expressing outrage at how un-hip big-city nightlife has become.

THE WINNER: No longer hip, NYC joints need replacement

Max Bressler, Miami

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Mom! Stop wiping my mouth at bars!

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Party like it’s 1699: Puritans take NYC

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Nighty-night, nightlife

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Click or tap here to see the winner of last week's contest: Scratching salon

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