Speed Reads

Colbert Nationalism

Stephen Colbert credibly blames the NRA for legal dog and cat eating in Pennsylvania

After some butcher shops in Pennsylvania started selling dog and cat meat, the state legislature threw together a bill to stop this tasteless culinary fad. The bill didn't even come up for a vote in the state Senate, Stephen Colbert explained on Tuesday night's Colbert Report, because of one powerful lobbying group: the NRA. The gun lobby isn't in favor of eating dogs, per se, but they opposed a proposed amendment in the Senate version that proscribed live pigeon shoots, because slippery slope.

"That's right, in order to protect their right to kill birds, the NRA defeated the anti-pet-eating bill," Colbert said. "It's a hard but noble sacrifice: The dogs and cats have to die, in order that the pigeons may also die." Getting in the spirit, Colbert proposed some recipes for NRA head Wayne LaPierre's nonexistent 101 Recipes for Your Household Pet cookbook — a beagle with cream cheese, anyone? How about chicken poodle soup? --Peter Weber