Whole Foods is opening cheaper stores aimed at millennials

In an effort to combat slipping share prices, everyone's favorite exorbitantly expensive natural grocery chain has announced plans for a more inexpensive, millennial-friendly spinoff. Whole Foods says it is already negotiating leases for the as-yet-unnamed concept's stores, the first batch of which will open sometime next year.

But how, other than through cheap prices, will the new chain attempt to woo this younger, poorer demographic? Probably with buzzwords! According to Whole Foods co-CEO Walter Robb, the new stores will "feature a modern, streamlined design, innovative technology, and a curated selection" to make for a "values-oriented experience geared towards millennial shoppers."

That's all well and good, but let's be honest: To even begin to compete with a little grocery store we'll call Trader Schmo's, the Whole Foods team is going to have to put its money where its mouth is. And that probably means putting less emphasis on selling $30 emu eggs and air-chilled snow water poultry, and more on the simple things, like selling a package of quinoa for less than six dollars.

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