Welcome to West Texas, where everyone is suspected of being a spy

"Trust no man" could be the new motto of the Lone Star State, whose rural residents remain on guard as Jade Helm 15, an eight-week-long "unconventional warfare" exercise by the U.S. Army, begins today. Forty-four percent of the population reportedly suspects that the drills are actually a cover for an Obama-sanctioned firearm-removal program, with some West Texan citizens going as far as to bury their guns — or prep for a showdown, with one farmer rumored to have stockpiled 20,000 rounds of ammunition.

Another team of volunteers is tracking the Army's vehicles and posting updates on their locations to a website. "We're not paranoid tin-hat wearing freaks," one Jade Helm tracker told Fox News, adding, "I did this because A, I believe in monitoring what the government does, and B, I see this as a training opportunity.”

"If the government has an idea they can come in and take over, and take guns away, the stupidest place they could come is West Texas," Bill Ford, a county commissioner, told The New York Times. "There's more guns and ammo here and more people willing to use them than any combat area they've fought in. Bad things aren't going to happen here."

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While doing their reporting, even the Times was suspect:

“Spec Ops grows beards,” one interviewee noted, referring to the Times' photographer. "Y'all got a military ID?"