Stephen Colbert mocks 'cage-free' Whole Foods for getting caught using prison labor

Stephen Colbert mocks Whole Foods
(Image credit: Late Show)

"I love shopping at Whole Foods," Stephen Colbert said on Monday's Late Show, "because I love organic produce, and I cannot stand having money." That was the beginning of a short rundown of a spate of Whole Foods mini-scandals, from overcharging for its prepackaged products to a new apology about selling tilapia and goat cheese made by prisoners. "Prison labor?" Colbert said in mock consternation. "But everything at Whole Foods is supposed to be cage-free!"

But this isn't the last thing Whole Foods will have to apologize for, Colbert predicted, so to help the grocery chain out, he issued a few pre-emptive apologies on their behalf. The mea culpas range from the gross (think "ground Chuck") to the absurd. The crowd favorite? "It is our solemn pledge that our cashiers will now add up the cost of your products, instead of just typing in the highest number they can think of." Watch below. Peter Weber

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Peter Weber

Peter Weber is a senior editor at TheWeek.com, and has handled the editorial night shift since the website launched in 2008. A graduate of Northwestern University, Peter has worked at Facts on File and The New York Times Magazine. He speaks Spanish and Italian and plays bass and rhythm cello in an Austin rock band. Follow him on Twitter.