Stephen Colbert mocks 'cage-free' Whole Foods for getting caught using prison labor

(Image credit: Late Show)

published 6 October 2015

"I love shopping at Whole Foods," Stephen Colbert said on Monday's Late Show, "because I love organic produce, and I cannot stand having money." That was the beginning of a short rundown of a spate of Whole Foods mini-scandals, from overcharging for its prepackaged products to a new apology about selling tilapia and goat cheese made by prisoners. "Prison labor?" Colbert said in mock consternation. "But everything at Whole Foods is supposed to be cage-free!"

But this isn't the last thing Whole Foods will have to apologize for, Colbert predicted, so to help the grocery chain out, he issued a few pre-emptive apologies on their behalf. The mea culpas range from the gross (think "ground Chuck") to the absurd. The crowd favorite? "It is our solemn pledge that our cashiers will now add up the cost of your products, instead of just typing in the highest number they can think of." Watch below. Peter Weber

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Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.