Possibly inspired by Carly Fiorina's blink-and-you-missed-it run for the vice presidency, Jimmy Kimmel announced Thursday on his show that he hopes to soon be the country's second-in-command.
Kimmel shared his big news on Hollywood Boulevard, flanked by what appeared to be his fake wife and children, sidekick Guillermo, and New England Patriot Rob Gronkowski. After exiting a bus emblazoned with his slogan ("A good, solid #2"), Kimmel said he's taking the plunge because "the future of our democracy is slipping through our fat, buttery hands," and he needs to put the "'I can' back in 'American.'" He also revealed he isn't running for president because he's "an egomaniac. I am humble like Mother Teresa," and he plans on figuring out how to defeat ISIS over a meal with Gronkowski.
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
-
Beyoncé, Kendrick Lamar take top GrammysSpeed Read Beyoncé took home album of the year for 'Cowboy Carter' and Kendrick Lamar's diss track 'Not Like Us' won five awards
-
Trump tariffs on Canada, Mexico, China rattle marketsSpeed read The tariffs on America's top three trading partners are expected to raise the prices of everything from gas and cars to tomatoes and tequila
-
Elon Musk operatives access US payment system, aidSpeed Read The Trump administration has given Musk's team access to the Treasury payment system, allowing him to track and control government spending
-
Beyoncé, Kendrick Lamar take top Grammys
Speed Read Beyoncé took home album of the year for 'Cowboy Carter' and Kendrick Lamar's diss track 'Not Like Us' won five awards
-
The Louvre is giving 'Mona Lisa' her own roomSpeed Read The world's most-visited art museum is getting a major renovation
-
Honda and Nissan in merger talksSpeed Read The companies are currently Japan's second and third-biggest automakers, respectively
-
Taylor Swift wraps up record-shattering Eras tourSpeed Read The pop star finally ended her long-running tour in Vancouver, Canada
-
Drake claims illegal boosting, defamationSpeed Read The rapper accused Universal Music of boosting Kendrick Lamar's diss track and said UMG allowed him to be falsely accused of pedophilia
-
'Wicked' and 'Gladiator II' ignite holiday box officeSpeed Read The combination of the two movies revitalized a struggling box office
-
Jussie Smollet conviction overturned on appealSpeed Read The Illinois Supreme Court overturned the actor's conviction on charges of staging a racist and homophobic attack against himself in 2019
-
Quincy Jones, music icon, is dead at 91Speed Read The legendary producer is perhaps best known as the architect behind Michael Jackson's 'Thriller'
