Men, your wife is more interested in sex than you think, say Canadian researchers

Researchers at the University of Toronto and the University of Western Ontario have what might be surprising news for men and women in long-term relationships, but men especially: Your wife or female partner is probably more interested in having sex than you think. Their findings, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, are based on three studies, and "all three studies showed the same thing, says Elizabeth Bernstein at The Wall Street Journal: "Men consistently underestimated their female partner's desire, while the women had an accurate read on whether or not their partner was interested in sex."

The study involved 229 couples who have been together at least three years, and six years on average. It asked both partners to rate their own sexual desire, their perception of their partner's desire, and their satisfaction in the relationship. The researchers speculate that men underestimate their partner's desire for sex to avoid rejection, and because many women either aren't comfortable initiating sex or send signals that men miss or don't understand.

But the researchers offer some advice, too. The big piece for couples is communication, Bernstein notes, "not just about when they want to have sex or what they like, but also about what signals they use to show their desire. They should also talk about what signals they prefer to receive." Also, avoid blaming your partner, and have sex sometimes even when you aren't in the mood — building up what's called "sexual communal strength." Previous research has also shown that scheduling sex, while not all that romantic on its surface, increases both partners' sexual satisfaction. "It lets you plan and get psyched about it," says Amy Muise, a postdoctoral fellow at the University of Toronto. "You're pre-negotiating a good time." Learn more at The Wall Street Journal, or by watching the video, replete with stock footage of romantic couples, below. Peter Weber

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