Speed Reads

a convention fart-acular!

Bernie bros are stockpiling beans for a 'fart-in' at the Democratic convention

Though Bernie Sanders officially endorsed presumptive Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton on Tuesday, a group of his supporters intend to combine political enthusiasm with intestinal discomfort in a "fart-in" protest to be held on the Democratic National Convention floor later this month.

To prepare for this entirely real plot, participants are collecting beans to fuel their efforts. Fart-in coordinator Cheri Honkala of the Poor People's Economic Human Rights Campaign says bean contributions have deluged her office in Philadelphia, where the convention will be held, mailed in by disappointed Sanders supporters from around the country. She expects baked beans to be the most popular option and believes many delegates are secretly planning to participate.

"The fart-in is to raise attention about things that really stink in our society and one of them is our health care financing system," says Dr. Walter Tsou of Physicians for Social Responsibility, a Philly resident who plans to eat many beans. "People are making a lot of platitudes about how great the Affordable Care Act is, but there are a lot of gaps."

There are also gaps in the fart-in plan, like the fact that the Wells Fargo Center, where the farting will happen, is a giant stadium with a high ceiling so all the farts will likely diffuse far above delegates' heads (and noses). After all, farts are warm — and warm air rises. Maybe try staging your gaseous protest in the vestibule?