Stephen Colbert skewers Donald Trump's 'very questionable Gandalf' doctor
Donald Trump and his allies have been questioning Hillary Clinton's health in recent days, but Trump's health is at least as much a mystery, Stephen Colbert said on Monday's Late Show. "I mean, he's got the kind of glow you can only get from being in top shape, or after vacationing at Chernobyl." All we really know about Trump's health is from a one-page note his physician, Dr. Harold Bornstein, wrote last December, Colbert added, though "a note from his doctor should be enough — it's how he got out of Vietnam."
Still, Bornstein, who "looks like a very questionable Gandalf," did at least prove "he's a true gastroenterologist, cause the letter seems to be yanked from where the sun don't shine," Colbert said, highlighting the part that says Trump's "recent complete medical examination... showed only positive results." "Everybody knows positive results are always good," he deadpanned. "Blood pressure? Positive. Cholesterol? Positive. Chlamydia? Positive." As to why the letter had typos and seemed rushed, it was — Bornstein recently explained to NBC News that he wrote it in 5 minutes while his limo was waiting downstairs. "Rushed, anxious, 5 minutes, driver waiting — you definitely want the candidate's physical to sound like losing your virginity on prom night," Colbert said. Watch below. Peter Weber
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
4 ways to give back this holiday season
The Explainer If your budget is feeling squeezed, remember that money is not the only way you can be generous around the holidays
By Becca Stanek, The Week US Published
-
4 tips for hosting an ecofriendly Thanksgiving
The Week Recommends Coming together for the holidays typically produces a ton of waste, but with proper preparation, you can have an environmentally friendly gathering.
By Theara Coleman, The Week US Published
-
Jussie Smollet conviction overturned on appeal
Speed Read The Illinois Supreme Court overturned the actor's conviction on charges of staging a racist and homophobic attack against himself in 2019
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Jussie Smollet conviction overturned on appeal
Speed Read The Illinois Supreme Court overturned the actor's conviction on charges of staging a racist and homophobic attack against himself in 2019
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Quincy Jones, music icon, is dead at 91
Speed Read The legendary producer is perhaps best known as the architect behind Michael Jackson's 'Thriller'
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
OJ Simpson, star athlete tried for murder, dead at 76
Speed Read The former football hero and murder suspect lost his battle with cancer
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published
-
Momofuku's 'Chili Crunch' trademark uproar
Speed Read The company's attempt to own the sole rights has prompted backlash
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published
-
Kevin Hart awarded Mark Twain Prize
Speed Read He is the 25th recipient of the prestigious comedy prize
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Is Downton Abbey set to return for a final film?
Speed Read Imelda Staunton reveals that a third movie may be in the pipeline
By Adrienne Wyper, The Week UK Published
-
'Oppenheimer' sweeps Oscars with 7 wins
speed read The film won best picture, best director (Christopher Nolan) and best actor (Cillian Murphy)
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
'Rust' armorer convicted of manslaughter
speed read The film's cinematographer Halyna Hutchins was shot and killed by actor Alec Baldwin during rehearsal
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published