Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles President Trump

Jon Stewart visits Colbert's Late Show to mock Trump, slyly remind America to resist

After signing 20 executive orders in his first 10 days, President Trump must be done for a bit, Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday's Late Show. Jon Stewart, wearing what appeared to be a dead animal on his head and a floor-length necktie, disagreed. "He has more, and I have them," Stewart said.

He read three of these "executive orders," starting with ordering China to deliver its Great Wall to use along America's border with Mexico. Colbert asked how Trump planned to get Mexico to pay for it. "This is the genius, Stephen," Stewart explained. "When the wall arrives at the southern border, we shut the lights, we pretend we're not home, it's C.O.D., Mexico has to sign for it — boom, they pay for it, done." His next executive order — or rather encyclical — set a national language for the United States (it isn't English), and the last one declared that Donald J. Trump, by executive order, is "exhausting."

"It has been 11 days, Stephen — 11 f—ing days," Stewart said. "The presidency is supposed to age the president, not the public." He listed some reasons, including: "I, Donald J. Trump, am exhausting because it is going to take relentless stamina, vigilance, and every institutional check and balance this great country can muster to keep me, Donald J. Trump, from going full Palpatine." He made some Star Wars gestures to make sure everyone got the reference, then brought it home. "We have never faced this before: purposeful, vindictive chaos," Stewart read, "but perhaps therein lies the saving grace of my, Donald J. Trump's, presidency. No one action will be adequate, all actions will be necessary, and if we do not allow Donald Trump to exhaust our fight, and somehow come through this presidency calamity-less and constitutionally partially intact, then I, Donald J. Trump, will have demonstrated the greatness of America — just not the way I thought I was gonna." Watch below. Peter Weber