Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles President Trump

Stephen Colbert checks in on Trump's White House, voter-fraud investigation

President Trump has been in the White House for more than two weeks now, but he and his team are still settling in, according to a New York Times report on Monday. Stephen Colbert cited some anecdotes from the article on Monday's Late Show, starting with the description of visitors to the White House wandering around trying door handles until they find one that leads to an exit. "Meanwhile, outside, Chris Christie is wandering around seeing if he can find one that lets him in," Colbert said.

"But here's the crazy part — apparently Trump's aides had to meet in the dark because they couldn't figure out how to operate the light switches in the Cabinet room," Colbert said, using a bit of colorful reporting that reporter Maggie Haberman says was supposed to be "endearing." Colbert found it frightening: "Well for the love of God, if you find a big red button, that is not the lights — don't touch it!" To see if things are really that disorganized, Colbert spoke with a purported Trump aide in the West Wing — and you can probably figure out the joke.

After the break, Colbert caught up with Trump's clearly false allegations that 3-5 million illegal Hillary Clinton voters cost him the popular vote. Trump hasn't been talking about that so much lately, but "in the Super Bowl super Bill O'Reilly interview starring Donald Trump as the so-called president, Trump addressed it head-on," he said, playing the clip. The only evidence Trump has ever really cited is the Twitter feed of a Texas businessman, and that guy isn't sharing his "proof" with the public.

"Now, this kind of accusation is called — and I don't want to get too technical here — bulls—t," Colbert said. The largest investigation of U.S. voter impersonation ever found 31 credible cases out of a billion votes cast. "By the way, 31 out of a billion is also my current Yelp review for the Trump administration," he snuck in. Why does Trump keep on bringing this up, "despite zero evidence?" Feelings. "Okay, you know what a major investigation of something that didn't happen sounds like?" Colbert asked. "Sounds like a case for CBS's newest crime drama, CSI: Major Investigation of Something I Read on the Internet." He played a clip, but as with the voter-fraud proof, don't get your hopes up. Watch below. Peter Weber