Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles TrumpCare

Seth Meyers fiddles as the GOP health-care bill burns

"House Republicans were forced to delay a vote on their health-care bill today after acknowledging they didn't have the votes to pass it," Seth Meyers said on Thursday's Late Night. "So what was Trump up to on this crucial afternoon that would decide the future of our nation's health care?" Well, he did meet with House conservatives to flip votes in favor of the bill — in a meeting filled with so many "middle-aged white dudes" it looked like a "Cialis commercial," Meyers said — but he also hopped in a long-haul semi, pretended to drive, and actually honked the horn. "In fairness, he had just seen this bumper sticker," Meyers joked: "Honk If You're Tragically Unqualified."

"The last 24 hours in politics have been truly mind-boggling," he said. "You've got the president doubling down on his false wiretapping claim, Republicans scrambling to cobble together a health-care [bill] before anyone even knows what's in it, and new reports that Trump associates may have coordinated with Russia," including revelations about Paul Manafort's recent $10 million contract with a Kremlin-tied Russian oligarch. "So Trump campaign chairman's previous job was working to advance Vladimir Putin's agenda," Meyers said. "That's like finding out your babysitter's previous job was baking children into pies."

But "as troubling as the Russian revelations are, what the Republicans have been doing with health care may be just as outrageous, and it certainly will affect more Americans," Meyers said. He spent the rest of his "Closer Look" looking at what Republicans are planning to do with their bill, including scrapping ObamaCare's requirement that health plans cover things like maternity care, mammograms, and hospitalization. ("Don't worry," he said, "every American gets one free ride on the cart that picks up your dead.")

"Republicans are radically reshaping one-fifth of the economy in a matter of hours, behind closed doors, with no public input," Meyers said. "That is insane, cruel, and reckless." But Trump has been pushing the bill hard, there's a vote on Friday, and Republicans are still writing the extremely consequential legislation. This is really, really unpopular, but Republicans have one pitch they're making to voters and their own caucus, Meyers said: "Just imagine a great health-care plan." Watch below. Peter Weber