Speed Reads

the afterlife

Jeb Bush and Derek Jeter are joining forces to try to buy the Miami Marlins

Here are two names you probably didn't expect to see in a sentence together today: former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush (R) and retired New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter. And yet, here we are: Bush and Jeter are reportedly teaming up to buy the Miami Marlins baseball team, The Miami Herald reports.

The whole situation is made all the stranger because the family of President Trump's son-in-law, Jared Kushner, reportedly had a "handshake agreement" to buy the Marlins from the current owner, Jeffrey Loria. Only, for a series of reasons including a rumored ambassadorship for Loria and the potentially thorny nearness of the baseball stadium to the president's preferred residence, the Kushner family is apparently no longer a competitor.

"Low-energy Jeb," of course, was humiliated by the loss of the Republican nomination to Donald Trump, but by uniting with Jeter — who Bush had originally been bidding against — the younger Bush brother finally, in an abstract, by-proxy sense, "wins" against his archenemy (or at least the family of his archenemy's son-in-law, but you take what you can get).

If the Bush-Jeter team does indeed win out (and they still have to beat out Quogue Capital's Wayne Rothbaum, at the very least), Bush might bring with him a to-do list for the talented young team. Jeva Lange