Speed Reads

last night on late night

Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel are comically unimpressed with the new Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino

The marketing people at Starbucks have apparently decided that no publicity is bad publicity, judging by the product they rolled out Wednesday. "Starbucks has introduced a new drink called the Unicorn Frappuccino," Stephen Colbert said on Thursday's Late Show, "because the name Sugary Affront to God was taken." The colorful new concoction is made with pink powder, mango syrup, and a sour blue drizzle, and it changes color and flavor as you mix it around. It also seems tailor-made for mockery.

"This was Starbucks' attempt to take over social media, they say, with a drink that's made to be Instagrammed," Colbert said. "Well, I wanted to know how it actually tastes, so we went and got one." He brought it on stage. "Mmmm, oh, I wish I was dead," he said. "Tastes like I French kissed Tinkerbell." There was nothing wrong with kissing Tinkerbell, he assured everyone, though maybe that was the Frappuccino talking.

On Thursday's Jimmy Kimmel Live, Kimmel called the drink an "abomination" and "the first Frappuccino that looks like a windbreaker from the '80s." But he did more than just spitball. "It's only available through April 23, or until someone dies from drinking it, whichever comes first," he said. "And if the Unicorn Frappuccino doesn't strike your fancy — and you would think it would — Starbucks has another new item designed specifically to suit our troubled time." After watching his fake Starbucks ad, a rainbow of fruit flavors may not sound so bad. Watch below. Peter Weber