Stephen Colbert mercilessly mocks Gwyneth Paltrow's new Goop wearable healing stickers
If Republicans target="_blank">actually pass their health-care bill and more than 20 million people no longer have health care, "folks are going to have to look for alternative medical treatment like prayer, or being rich, or praying to become rich," Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday's Late Show. "Well, in these dark days of doubt, thank goodness for Gwyneth Paltrow and her lifestyle brand, Goop." The product he focused on is Body Vibes stickers, which Goop describes as "wearable stickers that promote healing," promising such benefits as curing hangovers, promoting mental focus, and even hydration. "Man, I'm so thirsty I need a big tall box of stickers," Colbert joked.
"Previously, if you wanted wearable stickers that promote healing, you had to buy a box of band-aids," Colbert deadpanned. But for a 10-pack of Body Vibes stickers, you'll have to fork over $60. "For that price, you're going to want to pick up their anti-anxiety sticker for the panic attack you'll get when you realize you spent your rent money on stuff they give children free at the dentist," he said. He entertained himself and his audience by digging into the claims, including that the stickers use a NASA technology that NASA scientists say doesn't exist and call "BS," and something about cells vibrating like forks. "Yes, Goop has apparently consulted with top fork scientists to create these stickers," Colbert said, "so what Goop is saying is, Buy these stickers and go fork yourself."
"Well, as you know, I, too, have a celebrity lifestyle brand, Covetton House," Colbert said, "and Goop has inspired us to expand our own product line." That's when the mockery really begins. Watch below. Peter Weber
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
'Election Day. Finally.'
Today's Newspapers A roundup of the headlines from the US front pages
By The Week Staff Published
-
Incendiary device plot: Russia's 'rehearsals' for attacks on transatlantic flights
The Explainer Security officials warn of widespread Moscow-backed 'sabotage campaign' in retaliation for continued Western support for Ukraine
By The Week UK Published
-
Outer Hebrides: a top travel destination
The Week Recommends Discover 'unspoiled beauty' of the Western Isles
By Tess Foley-Cox Published
-
US economy still strong in final preelection report
Speed Read It grew at a solid 2.8% annual rate from July through September
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Boeing machinists reject deal, continue strike
Speed Read The rejection came the same day Boeing reported a $6.2 billion quarterly loss
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Ports reopen after dockworkers halt strike
Speed Read The 36 ports that closed this week, from Maine to Texas, will start reopening today
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Empty-nest boomers aren't selling their big homes
Speed Read Most Americans 60 and older do not intend to move, according to a recent survey
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Brazil accuses Musk of 'disinformation campaign'
Speed Read A Brazilian Supreme Court judge has opened an inquiry into Elon Musk and X
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published
-
Disney board fends off Peltz infiltration bid
Speed Read Disney CEO Bob Iger has defeated activist investor Nelson Peltz in a contentious proxy battle
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published
-
Disney and DeSantis reach detente
Speed Read The Florida governor and Disney settle a yearslong litigation over control of the tourism district
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Visa and Mastercard agree to lower swipe fees
Speed Read The companies will cap the fees they charge businesses when customers use their credit cards
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published