Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles Roy Moore

Stephen Colbert welcomes Trump home to thirst jokes, Roy Moore quandaries

President Trump "is back in the US of A and he went on TV today to brag about how great his Asia trip was," Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday's Late Show. "And it turns out it wasn't just attention he was thirsty for." He showed the clip of Trump awkwardly drinking from a bottle of water, then mimicked the actions. "All right, that's not fair," Colbert said. "Everybody gets dry mouth. I can't stand here on national television and make fun of a politician just for drinking water. That is childish — and Trump already did it way better with Rubio." If you don't remember Trump mocking Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.), Colbert has your back.

Anyway, Trump is "back at work: watching TV and tweeting about it," Colbert said. "But Trump did accomplish one thing while he was in Asia," and he demanded thanks for it — intervening with China to free three UCLA men's basketball players arrested for shoplifting luxury sunglasses. "Oh, come on!" Colbert said. "You don't steal Louis Vuitton, you just buy a knockoff. I'm pretty sure China has a Chinatown."

Trump also returned home to a thorny dilemma on Roy Moore, the Alabama GOP Senate nominee. "Many Republican lawmakers have denounced Moore, but some of them are standing by their man," Colbert said, showing Rep. Mo Brooks (R-Ala.) fleeing from a reporter down a spiral staircase. "Running away from your problems in a downward spiral? I think we've got a new Republican metaphor."

But Moore is still fighting, and his supporters are using some shady tactics, Colbert said, playing the bizarre robocall from reporter "Bernie Bernstein." "Come on, a Jewish journalist part of a media conspiracy?" he asked. "The only worse stereotype would be a family-values Southern evangelical who turns out to be a secret perv." He still tried to top it with "a second Alabama robocall that really ups the ante." Watch below. Peter Weber