Speed Reads

Late night Tackles Trump and Guns

Stephen Colbert has his doubts Trump would have rushed in to tackle a school shooter

Donald Trump has been president for more than a year, and "at this point I go to bed every night believing there's nothing he could say or do that would possibly surprise me," Stephen Colbert said on Monday's Late Show. "Then the sun comes up." Even though Trump's proposal to arm teachers "has not been received well by people who have had or been a teacher," he said, Trump doubled down Monday.

"Trump's saying arm the teachers because if you're in the pocket of the NRA, like he is, the solution is never fewer guns — the solution is always more guns," Colbert said, but the armed, trained deputies at the Parkland, Florida, high school did not rush in to confront the shooter. "Who among us, really, could honestly say what they think they would do in that same situation?" he asked, and the answer, of course, was Trump. "There's a lot in there that I doubt, but the part I really don't believe is that he can run."

"Look, sir, we already know how you react to combat situations," Colbert said. "What are you going to do? Run in there and stab him with your bone spurs? ... As long as you're living in a fantasy world, sir, at least make it interesting."

The NRA isn't emerging unscathed, with more than a dozen companies scrapping discounts and other perks for NRA members, Colbert said. "I didn't even know these discounts existed! Are there other weapons-related savings we should be taking advantage of? Does Olive Garden have a special 'Show your machete, get free spaghetti'?" FedEx is sticking with the NRA, though, Colbert said, and he made an iffy joke about going postal. He ended with the Olympics and the nepotism highlighted by the leader of the U.S. delegation, "Ivanka Trump, shown here carrying on the proud Trump family tradition of getting something she did not earn." Watch below. Peter Weber