Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles Stormy Daniels

Stephen Colbert raises an eyebrow at Trump's secret new nickname in Washington

"We all know that President Trump loves to trash-talk people, but strangely, he's never said one bad thing about Vladimir Putin," Stephen Colbert noted on Tuesday's Late Show. In fact, despite the counsel of Trump's advisers, "up till now, he's been a huge fan of Vladimir Putin. Well, yesterday, all that ... stayed the same, but the United States did expel 60 Russians over a U.K. poison attack. Sixty! Normally for Trump to expel that many people, they have to be in his Cabinet." Russia hasn't officially responded, but Russia's foreign ministry posted a trollish Twitter poll on which U.S. consulate they should close, Colbert noted, "and like all Russian votes, the winner was Vladimir Putin."

There is also "more news on the Stormy Daniels front — and the rest of her," Colbert said. "The president has a brilliant new defense: He's telling people that Stormy Daniels isn't his type. What? She's a buxom blonde. She couldn't be more his type if she was a Fish Filet wrapped in a 100 ruble bill." He also made some almost tasteful Ivanka jokes.

"Trump has been largely silent about the accusation of the affair," but the White House responded Monday with a weirdly phrased rebuttal from Trump. And "evidently, the scandal is starting to affect Trump's reputation in Washington," earning him an embarrassing new nickname behind his back, Colbert said, barely stifling a grin. "In all seriousness, we should show some respect: It's President Spanky." He ended with a pox on both their lawyers. Watch below. Peter Weber