Stephen Colbert has some free legal advice for Trump, and Jimmy Kimmel recounts Michael Cohen's greatest fix

Stephen Colbert introduced El Trumpo Loco
(Image credit: Screenshot/YouTube/The Late Show)

"There is just so much meat on the news bone today that I don't know where to start carving," Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday's Late Show. He started with President Trump — and specifically, Trump's continued fuming and raging about the FBI raid on his lawyer/fixer Michael Cohen and Special Counsel Robert Mueller's investigation. He quoted one Trump friend who told Vanity Fair he could see Trump melting down and saying: "'F--k it, I'm firing all of them.' ... This is very dry tinder. If someone strikes a match to it, you could see it catching fire." "Dry Tinder, by the way, is how Mike Pence met his wife," Colbert joked. "It's the only dating app with a 100 percent no-moisture-exchange guarantee."

He read Trump's morning tweetstorm railing against the Mueller probe, then offered "some free legal advice: When you're under investigation for obstruction of justice, don't tweet, 'No Collusion or Obstruction (other than I fight back).' Fighting back is the 'obstruction' part." Still, "unhinged Twitter rants are not how you respond to a federal investigation, it's how you escalate a global military conflict," Colbert said, reading Trump's hot-and-cold tweets about lobbing missiles at Syria and Russia. "Threats, muscle-flexing, macho nicknames — Trump is finally bringing his background in pro wrestling to our foreign policy," he said, introducing a new WWE star, El Trumpo Loco.

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