Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles the State of the Union

Trevor Noah, Jimmy Fallon's Trump, and Vladimir Putin respond to Trump's State of the Union

President Trump gave his second State of the Union speech Tuesday night, and Jimmy Fallon's Trump gave a post-speech interview on The Tonight Show. "You all just witnessed the Super Bowl of State of the Union speeches," he said. It had action, it had excitement, it had drama — the only thing it was missing was Adam Levine's nipples."

On The Late Show, Russian President Vladimir Putin gave his own State of the Union response, and he also brought up Levine's nipples. "The state of my nipples is strong," he said, showing them off plus some familiar tattoos. "Suck it, Adam Levine." Overall, Putin liked what he heard. "I agree with President Trump's call for unity. Both sides must come together and do exactly what he says — that I told him to say," he said. "So President Trump, keep doing what you're doing. And I'm sure you will."

Trevor Noah recapped Trump's actual speech on a live Daily Show, starting with some optics. "Yes, his tie was crooked when he walked in — Trump walked past 600 people, and not a single one of them had the balls to tell him," he said. "I guess we should be grateful his fly wasn't open." Inviting Joshua Trump, a kid bullied over his last name, to the speech "is a pretty savvy move by Trump," Noah added. "It combines two major goals of his family: Melania's campaign to stop bullying, and Donald's campaign to replace Eric."

"By Trump's standards," the speech itself "was pretty chilled," Noah said. Trump bragged about the economy, threatened Democrats not to investigate him, and warned "that we're all going to die, Mexican-style," Noah paraphrased. Trump did eventually bring the "whole room together," he laughed. "Yo, Donald Trump is a rock star, guys. He just took credit for the Democrats electing more women." And he tried to end on a presidential-sounding note: "That's right, folks, 'we have not yet begun to dream.' In other words, the nightmare is just beginning." Watch below. Peter Weber