Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles Mueller's Finale

Trevor Noah explains why Robert Mueller's partial exoneration of Trump is a win for everybody

Special Counsel Robert Mueller apparently found insufficient evidence that President Trump and his campaign colluded with Russia, and "I'm not going to lie, it's a little disappointing," Trevor Noah said on Monday's Daily Show. "A lot of us were expecting something different. It's a little bit like coming down the stairs on Christmas morning, you were hoping for a brand new BMX, but instead you find Santa's dead body — burned, because your parents forgot to turn off the fire."

Amid his celebrating, "Trump said Mueller's report 'totally exonerated' him, but that's not totally true," Noah said. In fact, Mueller punted on half his mandate. "Robert Mueller spends two years investigating obstruction of justice, and his conclusion is, 'I don't know, what do you guys think?'" he groused. "That's not an answer, Robert Mueller! That is the question we gave you."

"But right now the nuances of the report don't matter to Trump supporters — in fact, they don't care about reading the rest, they've already started their victory parade," Noah said. Honestly, though, "I think this was really a win for everyone. I mean, this is great for Democrats, because they can move on from collusion now and campaign on the issues that more people care about. It's a win for America, because you know that your president isn't a traitor. I mean, how many countries can say that? I mean, all of them, but you know what I mean. ... And for all those taxpayers out there complaining, 'This investigation was a waste of money' — good news, you're also winning. Because Robert Mueller may have spent $25 million on this, but because of him, [Paul] Manafort had to pay the United States over $40 million. Which I guess is another reason the Mueller investigation was such a big win for Trump — this is the first time he's been involved in something that actually turned a profit." Watch below. Peter Weber