Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles Trump versus Romney

Trump didn't harm Mitt Romney by turning him into James Bond, Seth Meyers and The Late Show chuckle

Sen. Mitt Romney (R-Utah) became the first senator in U.S. history to vote to convict a president of his own party on Wednesday, and that president, Donald Trump, immediately tried to exact revenge. His media allies slammed Romney as a traitor and the White House sent Republican lawmakers talking points to use in their own Romney-bashing. Trump's own attacks against Romney didn't always land, however, as Stephen Colbert's Late Show noted Thursday, with help from the Johnny Rivers hit "Secret Agent Man."

It's not at all clear this "bizarre ad aimed at a member of his own party" had "quite the damaging effect on Romney that Trump hoped it would have," Seth Meyers agreed at Late Night. "Look, I'm no Mitt Romney super-fan, but you do realize this ad makes him look incredibly cool, right? I mean, I didn't think it was possible to take a boring private-equity robot like Romney and turn him into James Bond, but somehow, Trump did it. Literally wearing sunglasses, and you describe him as 'slick,' 'stealthy,' and a 'secret asset'? You might as well give him a martini, an Aston Martin, and put him next to Pussy Galore. 'Uh, Ms. Galore, do you mind if I read you an old Protestant hymn?' 'Call me Pussy, Mitt.' 'Oh, no, no, no, no, no. ...'"

But it's easy to see why Trump is trying to take Romney down, Meyers said. "Trump allies had already warned that if Republicans vote against the president, 'your head will be on a pike,'" and by crossing party lines to convict him, "Romney rained on Trump's parade, which is bad news for Trump because he doesn't know how to use an umbrella. But seriously, even with the acquittal, that one vote is a historical stain that will remain on Trump's presidency forever." You can hear his proposed Trivial Pursuit question below. Peter Weber