Stephen Colbert, Trevor Noah, and MSNBC's Chris Hayes rate official coronavirus containment efforts

The COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak has prompted calls to end handshakes, and Wednesday's Late Show helpfully highlighted some safe greeting alternatives.

The coronavirus "is now officially in 85 countries and it has over 95,000 confirmed cases — and it's the reason even white people have switched to the fist bump," Trevor Noah said at The Daily Show. He discussed New York's efforts to keep the virus off the subways then turned to dinosaur DNA found in Colorado, urging scientists to go full Jurassic Park. "I know we've seen the movies, I know how it's gonna end," Noah said, but "if my options are dying from coronavirus or a velociraptor, I know what I'm choosing."

Disinfecting subway cars just means "that puddle of urine you sat in is no more than three days old," Stephen Colbert shrugged at The Late Show. "Today, Trump met with airline executives and told them he's been following the coronavirus safety guidelines, and he admits it's been hard," joking he hasn't touched his face "in weeks." Colbert laughed: "You haven't touched your face in years — your face has been quarantined behind a thick layer of bronzer."

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Politicians and public health officials are urging people to do is not touch their face, but they themselves are really bad at it, The Daily Show demonstrated.

Full Frontal's Samantha Bee showed how hard it is to not touch your face, using NSFW language.

"I think people are a little unprepared for the level of disruption that we are likely heading into," MSNBC's Chris Hayes told Colbert. Colbert asked what he thinks about the Trump administration's response.

"I have been speaking to experts for the last few days," Hayes replied carefully. "The response thus far has been a failure and has been terrible." Nobody believes the CDC's numbers, and "there has been a complete failure to deploy accurate, wide-scale testing at scale that is necessary to get your arms around the scope of the epidemic," he said. Making things worse, "the political leadership has sent the message, to the bureaucracy and to the public, they want this to go away, they don't want it to be a big problem, they don't want the markets to tank, and they don't want it to hurt the economy," when other countries have proved denial is "the worst thing you can do." Watch below. Peter Weber