Late night hosts seek clarity, find dark humor in the Democrats' legislative hostage mess

"We may be approximately 24 hours from the United States government shutting down, and that's not even the bad news," Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday's Late Show. "The U.S. government is also rapidly approaching the debt ceiling," which, if it isn't raised by mid-October, will unleash "financial Armageddon," he said. That would be "bad news — and even worse timing, because America has already scheduled a plague Armageddon, a climate Armageddon, and a democracy Armageddon."
Worse still, Democrats want to raise the debt ceiling and Senate Republicans are blocking them, "so this is a totally avoidable crisis," Colbert said. "It would be like knowing there was a lifesaving medicine available during a pandemic, and not taking it. Wait, wait! Maybe we should inject the budget with horse paste." Democrats also have to pass their $3.5 trillion Build Back Better package the bipartisan infrastructure bill, "and here's the problem — and it's two problems," he said: Sen. Joe Manchin (D-W.Va.) and Sen. Krysten Sinema (D-Ariz.) are "holding up the entire government but they won't tell anyone what they want."
Yes, "two centrist Democrats are holding Joe Biden's agenda hostage while Republicans threaten to crater the economy as a negotiating tactic," Seth Meyers said at Late Night, throwing in a closer look former President Donald Trump reportedly calling an aide from Air Force One call to defend the size of his penis. "And I know one of those stories is bigger than the other," he added, "but we can do both."
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.

Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.

Congress' big to-do list — "prevent a government shutdown, raise the debt ceiling, and pass two huge pieces of legislation," all at the same time — "means there's a lot of stress, a lot of bickering, and most importantly, a lot of drama," Trevor Noah said on The Daily Show. "In fact, there's so much drama, it's the perfect story to cover in our new segment, 'Keeping Up With the Congressians.'" He explained the entire situation in character as a catty gossip purveyor, and illustrated Manchin's contribution with a new, very frustrating board game.

A new study on climate disasters "paints a very bleak picture of the future of our planet — but fear not, because during these difficult times our lawmakers are hard at work in Washington, tackling the issues that matter most," Jimmy Kimmel deadpanned on Kimmel Live, showing a certain Texas senator's passionate plea to Free Britney: "Since when is Ted Cruz in favor of women making their own decisions? That's a new one."

Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
Why are military experts so interested in Ukraine's drone attack?
TODAY'S BIG QUESTION The Zelenskyy government's massive surprise assault on Russian airfields was a decisive tactical victory — could it also be the start of a new era in autonomous warfare?
-
Critics push back as the government goes after Job Corps
The Explainer For at-risk teens, the program has been a lifeline
-
5 horror movies to sweat out this summer
The Week Recommends A sequel, a reboot and a follow up from the director of 'Barbarian' highlight the upcoming scary movie slate
-
Nationalist wins tight Polish presidential election
speed read Karol Nawrocki beat Rafal Trzaskowski in Poland's presidential runoff election
-
Ukraine hits Russia's bomber fleet in stealth drone attack
speed read The operation, which destroyed dozens of warplanes, is the 'biggest blow of the war against Moscow's long-range bomber fleet'
-
Starving Gazans overrun US-backed food aid hub
speed read Israeli troops fired warning shots at the Palestinians
-
Israel's Western allies pull back amid Gaza escalation
speed read Britain and the EU are reconsidering allegiance with Israel as the Gaza siege continues
-
Trump drops ceasefire demand after Putin call
speed read Following a phone call with Russia's president, Trump backed off an earlier demand that Putin agree to an immediate ceasefire with Ukraine
-
Pro-EU centrist beats Trump acolyte in Romania vote
speed read The mayor of Bucharest, Nicusor Dan, defeated hard-right nationalist George Simion in the race for Romania's presidency
-
Israel-US 'rift': is Trump losing patience with Netanyahu?
Today's Big Question US president called for an end to Gaza war and negotiated directly with Hamas to return American hostage, amid rumours of strained relations
-
Kurdish PKK militia to disband for Turkey talks
speed read The Kurdistan Workers' Party will disarm after four decades of armed conflict with Turkey, putting an end to 'one of the longest insurgencies in the Middle East'