Speed Reads

Last night on Late Night

Stephen Colbert and Seth Meyers wrap up 2021 with closing thoughts on Trump's coup attempt, Melania's NFT

"This is our last show of 2021," and "if I could sum up the year in one sentence, CBS would bleep it," Stephen Colbert said on Thursday's Late Show. "It's been a rough year, starting with the attempt to overthrow our democracy," and the House Jan. 6 committee has just released numerous damning text messages from former White House chief of staff Mark Meadows — who, according to a new report, helped lead "a months-long campaign of subversion by half a dozen Republican lawmakers." 

"If they had succeeded, the Oval Office would still be occupied by former President Schmuck à l'orange," Donald Trump, who just "claimed victory in the totally made-up War on Christmas" on Newsmax, Colbert said. Trump claimed even Jews and Muslims love Christmas, and "it's true," he deadpanned. "That's why traditionally on Christmas Eve you leave Santa a warm glass of Manischewitz and a chicken shawarma. He is — what's the word? — insane."

"If you're of the mind, as I am, that the Republican Party's been captured by authoritarian cult of goons, weirdos, and asymmetrical crime goblins" that will overturn democracy the first chance they get," Seth Meyers said on Late Night, "then the logical — and somewhat sobering — conclusion of that belief is that our only hope is the Democratic Party, which is not a comforting thought."

"Anyway, this is our last 'Closer Look' of 2021, and we have tried, to the best of our ability, to spend this year documenting all of the evidence that Trump and his cronies were very much staging a coup," Meyers said. And thanks to Meadows' texts, we know "they're in the process of doing it again if they get the chance."

Trump is "really upset" with Meadows "for writing in his book that Trump's hair looked awful when he had COVID," Jimmy Fallon said on The Tonight Show. "It must have looked really bad, because that's how most people describe Trump's hair when he's healthy. Meanwhile I read that this holiday season Melania Trump is releasing her first NFT, called 'Melania's Vision,' which is a watercolor of her eyes," he added. "Yep, Trump is excited about it, he thinks NFT stands for Not Filing Taxes. The cool thing about Melania's NFT: Just like she does with her husband, as soon as you turn away, the eyes roll."

Jimmy Kimmel ran through the best viral clips of 2021 on Kimmel Live.