Author Rich Benjamin has come up with a controversial way for gay people to fight for the right to get legally married: Boycott heterosexual weddings. "How utterly absurd to celebrate an institution that I am banned from in most of the country," Benjamin says in The New York Times. "Does a vegan frequent summer pig roasts? Do devout evangelicals crash couple-swapping parties? Do undocumented immigrants march in Minuteman rallies?" Does Benjamin have a point?
Absolutely. Why participate when you're left out? "I'm frankly a little embarrassed I didn't already think of this," says Detroit Mark at Daily Kos. It's time for me to stop dragging myself to church, "pretending to be so happy that you're allowed to get married and I'm not." When everyone has the right to get married, the institution will mean something. Until then, no invitations, please. "I'm not coming to your wedding."
"Sorry, but I'm not coming to your wedding"
Straight weddings are not the problem: "I wouldn't start pissing off your heterosexual friends just yet," says Abhijit Nagaraj at his blog. You can't just turn your back on every institution that is imperfect and requires reform. Should we stop sending dangerous criminals to prison because our legal system has flaws?
Plus, a boycott would be counterproductive: We need to make weddings "less political and divisive, not more," says Mita at The Clumsy Cook. "By boycotting straight weddings, you're widening the chasm between gays and straights." Plenty of those straight brides and grooms are your allies; refusing to attend their weddings sends the message they're enemies.
"Should gays boycott straight weddings?"