Living with dead siblings
An Illinois woman in her 90s has been found sharing a house with the corpses of her three dead siblings. Margaret Bernstorff’s brother and two sisters all appear to have died years ago, say police, and one of the dead sisters hadn’t been seen since the late 1970s.  Most neighbors assumed Bernstorff lived alone. “You didn’t go inside,” said a neighbor who would sometimes bring Bernstorff groceries. “You left things at the back door.”

Paternity test for John Edwards?
John Edwards’ troubles may be just beginning. In August, the former senator and presidential candidate admitted to having an extramarital affair with filmmaker Rielle Hunter, but adamantly denied being the father of Hunter’s child. Now, however, The National Enquirer has apparently acquired one of the child’s soiled diapers, and only needs a DNA sample from Edwards to conduct a paternity test. “All they need is a cup he drank from,” an insider says.

Armless man steals TV
German police are hunting a man with no arms who managed to steal a television set from an electronics store.  Surveillance camera footage shows two accomplices attaching the 24-inch set to the culprit’s body with clamps and then ushering him out the door onto the streets of Munich. A spokesman for police appealed for witnesses to come forward. “It’s hard to believe that the sight of an armless man walking along with a giant TV clamped to his body did not get anyone’s attention,” he said.