Too drunk to get married
An Australian groom showed up so drunk for his wedding that a minister refused to perform the ceremony and his furious fiancée broke up with him. When Jacob Brookes, 41, allegedly stumbled into the church still drunk from his bachelor party, the reverend tried to walk out—prompting a scuffle that led to Brookes’s arrest. Brookes denied being intoxicated. “I had three beers, two shots of Jamo [Jameson whiskey],” he said. “That’s not drunk.” He hopes to win his fiancée back. “I miss her to bits,” he said.

British teen tries to rescue smartphone
A British teenager had to be rescued by firefighters after she got stuck in a storm drain while trying to retrieve her new smartphone. Ella Birchenough, 16, dropped her iPhone down the drain while out walking her dog. “I thought to myself, ‘I’m not leaving this,’ and I jumped down to get it,” she said. But her waist became wedged in the narrow hole, and she remained stuck until firefighters pulled her out. Birchenough immediately ran home to take a shower. “I think it was just water [in the drain],” she said, “but I wasn’t taking any chances.”

Georgia's cowboy-hat burglar
Georgia police have charged a man with carrying out several burglaries while wearing nothing but a cowboy hat. Johns Creek City Councilwoman Cori Davenport called 911 when she allegedly found nude thief Ashdon Gibbs, 21, in her home. “They’re like, ‘What was he wearing?’” she said. “And I’m like, ‘Absolutely nothing—a cowboy hat.’” Police say Gibbs ran off and broke into a nearby home, where he listened to Elvis on a vintage jukebox, drank some beer, and watched TV, until he was arrested.