How to shake a vending machine
An Iowa man was fired from his warehouse job after he allegedly used a forklift to pick up a vending machine and shake loose a stuck candy bar. When Robert McKevitt’s $1 Twix got stuck on a spiral hook, supervisors said, he jumped into an 8,000-pound forklift and repeatedly lifted the vending machine two feet off the ground before dropping it on the concrete floor—freeing three candy bars. McKevitt was fired, but insists he only used the forklift to move the machine back into place after shaking it. “That machine was trouble,” he said.

The ultimate Barbie
A California woman is getting plastic surgery to become a real-life Barbie—and hypnotherapy to make her as dumb as a doll.

“I just want to be the ultimate Barbie,” said Blondie Bennett, 38. “Being brainless is a big part of that.” Bennett has spent over $41,000 on plastic surgery, lip fillers, and Botox to make herself look like a giant-busted toy, and is now having weekly sessions with a hypnotist to convince her she’s a vacant bimbo. “I’m already starting to feel ditzy and confused all the time,” Bennett said.

Officers get high from marijuana fumes
A police station in northern France is storing so much seized marijuana that officers are getting high off the fumes. “The odor is really strong,” said one officer. “After a day, you are stoned.” About 88 pounds of weed has piled up at the Roubaix station because of a strike at the agency that is supposed to dispose of confiscated drugs. Fabrice Danel, a spokesman for the police union, said that several officers who complained of suffering from headaches had taken drug tests, which came back positive for marijuana. “It’s a scandal!” he said.