FOLLOW THE WEEK ON FACEBOOK
May 16, 2014
Facebook

It's like 21 Jump Street, without the crime fighting: School officials say a 34-year-old woman posed as a high school sophomore for almost the entire school year, tricking her classmates and teachers into thinking she was 15.

Authorities aren't sure why Charity Anne Johnson enrolled at New Life Christian School in Longview, Texas, as Charity Stevens. She told Principal Stuart Newlin that she had been homeschooled, ABC News says, and was living with a friend she made while working at McDonald's. Tamica Lincoln, 30, agreed to let Johnson live with her after being told Johnson's parents had kicked her out. "She acted like a kid," Lincoln says. "She did her homework. She got good report cards."

Newlin agrees, telling ABC News that Johnson acted like a typical teen. She was well-liked with lots of friends, and active on social media, posting photos of Hello Kitty on Instagram and selfies on Twitter. The jig was up once Johnson attempted to enroll in a group for needy children; a woman from the organization ran a background check and discovered the girl everyone thought was a teenager was really born in 1979. Once Lincoln found out she called the police, who arrested Johnson on Monday. She has been charged with failure to show identification, and is at the Gregg County Jail on a $500 bond. Catherine Garcia

2:06 a.m. ET

Monday night was the debut of Daily Show alumna Samantha Bee's new show on TBS, Full Frontal. And as the show's name suggests, Bee isn't dressing up her jokes in pleasantries. In this clip from her inaugural show, Bee takes a whack at the Republican presidential field, which, she said, has "laid out a banquet of all-you-can-eat crazy." Specifically, she mocked Sens. Ted Cruz (Texas) and Marco Rubio (Fla.), starting with Cruz, who was supposed to get a bump from winning the Iowa caucus but didn't.

After playing a cringe-inducing clip of CNN's Dana Bash asking Cruz's wife how she feels about everybody hating her husband, Bee mustered up a little bit of sympathy: "Now look, I dislike Ted Cruz as much as the next everybody, but that's no reason to be rude to Ted's loving wife — and possible hostage." The sympathy did not extend to Cruz, nor to the candidate who "snatched" his Iowa bump, Rubio.

Bee ran through Rubio's meltdown during Saturday night's GOP debate — "He showed up at the debate all but wearing his 'Likely Nominee' crown, and it took Chris Christie 10 seconds to crush him like a bug" — Trump's lack of nouns, and the failure of 43 percent of the candidates to go on stage when their name was called. After pointing out the sad faces of Rubio's kids in the debate audience, Bee ended the segment with a pretty gross, likely NSFW punch line about Rubio and abortion. There is also mildly NSFW language sprinkled throughout, but if none of that bothers you, watch below. Peter Weber

1:43 a.m. ET

On Conan Monday night, after a joke about Cam Newton elicited just a few pity laughs from the audience, Conan O'Brien knew he had to explain himself. Channeling Newton's sullen post-Super Bowl mood, he spent his post-joke press conference being peppered with such hard-hitting questions as "Do you feel like you let down the show?" and "Is there any talk about TBS maybe trading you to another network now?" O'Brien stormed off, but Andy Richter swooped in and made everyone laugh again with — of all things — a Ray Romano joke. Watch the video below. Catherine Garcia

12:55 a.m. ET

Ben Stiller made a commercial for the Super Bowl, he told Jimmy Fallon on Monday's Tonight Show. Well, it's really "more like a public service announcement," Stiller said, but much to his chagrin, CBS didn't broadcast it. The ad was for Female Viagra, and Fallon just happened to have the clip to show the world. It features Stiller on a bed in a football jersey, and it paints a pretty bleak portrait of post-marital bedroom vibrancy. "The thing is, even though 0 percent of women suffer from erectile dysfunction, over 98 percent of women over 30 suffer from another condition, called Not Being Turned On By Their Husband Anymore," Stiller said. And Female Viagra is just the thing to light that spark again, at least when necessary and for a few minutes. Watch the decidedly unromantic PSA below. Peter Weber

12:48 a.m. ET
Joe Raedle/Getty Images

At midnight Tuesday, the first ballots of the New Hampshire primary were cast in the hamlets of Dixville Notch, Millsfield, and Hart's Location.

Dozens of residents hit the polls, and Dixville Notch has already announced its results: Three votes for John Kasich and two votes for Donald Trump among the Republicans, and four votes for Bernie Sanders and none for Hillary Clinton on the Democratic side.

Why are these voters able to cast their ballots so early? Under New Hampshire law, communities that have fewer than 100 voters can open their polls at midnight and close them once registered voters have cast their ballots, The Boston Globe reports. All nine voters in Dixville Notch are employees of the Balsams Grand Resort Hotel, and they voted inside a building on the property. Catherine Garcia

12:31 a.m. ET

Artur Fischer, a German inventor trained as a locksmith, held more patents than Thomas Edison, and among his more than 1,100 patents are the wall anchor you have probably used to hang pictures and mirrors and the first synchronized camera flash. Fischer died Jan. 27 at his home in Waldachtal, Germany, The New York Times reported Monday. He was 96.

"What Bill Gates was to the personal computer, Artur Fischer is to do-it-yourself home repair," German magazine Der Spiegel said in 1915, a year after Fischer won the prestigious European Inventor Award, a lifetime achievement prize from the European Patent Office. His first big breakthrough was the flash, purchased by the camera company Agfa, inspired by his inability to photograph his young daughter indoors — his insight was to synchronize an electric flash with the camera shutter. In 1958, he patented the expanding wall anchor, allowing people to hang heavy objects on plaster and drywall. Today, his company, the Fischer Group, produces more than 14 million of those anchors every day at factories around the world.

Fischer's last big commercial hit was the Fischertechnik kit, an electrical model set used by German kids and hobbyists alike to create machines and robots — he started off giving the kits as Christmas gifts to clients in 1964, then brought them to market when they proved a hit. You can learn more about Fischer, who tinkered until the end, in this short film from the European Patent Office. Peter Weber

12:13 a.m. ET
Han Myung-Gu/Getty Images

The satellite launched by North Korea on Saturday is tumbling in orbit, rendering it useless, a U.S. official said Monday.

Although the payload of the Unha 3 rocket made it into orbit, it has been tumbling ever since, the official told ABC News. North Korea still views the launch as a success, and the official said the fact that the payload was able to make it into orbit is troubling — the technology needed to make that happen is the same necessary to get a ballistic nuclear armed intercontinental missile to the United States, ABC News reports.

The Joint Space Operations Center is tracking the satellite and a rocket booster stage also in orbit, and it could take years for the payload to re-enter the Earth's atmosphere; the JSPOC is still tracking the payload and debris items from a North Korean missile launched in December 2012, ABC News says. No transmission signals were ever detected coming from that satellite. Catherine Garcia

February 8, 2016
Lam Yik Fei/Getty Images

Demonstrators and police clashed in Hong Kong Monday night and early Tuesday morning after authorities started to crack down on unlicensed food vendors in the Mong Kok district.

It's become a tradition in the area for the street hawkers to sell fish balls and other items during the Lunar New Year, and activists were upset that police tried to shut the vendors down, saying an important part of the area's culture was under attack, The Associated Press reports. Protesters threw bottles, trash, and pieces of wood, and set fires in the street. In a statement, local police said demonstrators refused to get out of the street and shoved officers. In turn, authorities used batons and pepper spray against the protesters.

Three men were arrested and three injured officers were treated at area hospitals. This was the worst violence in Hong Kong since 2014's pro-democracy protests, AP reports. Catherine Garcia

See More Speed Reads