Stephen Colbert was in rare form and high spirits on Monday's Late Show, after a week of fishing and drinking. In his monologue, he informed his audience about the big news from last week — Burger King is testing out a Whopperito, an unholy mix of Whopper and burrito. Oh, and Donald Trump launched several attacks on a U.S. district judge, arguing he can't be trusted to oversee the Trump University fraud lawsuits because he is Mexican-American and Trump wants to build a wall between Mexico and the U.S.
"Is Trump a racist for saying an American can't be trusted because of his heritage?" Colbert asked. "I mean, it's hard for me to judge Trump — my Irish heritage makes me want to fight anyone who looks that much like a potato." But by Trump's logic, he added, he can't be in court with a judge who is Mexican, Muslim, Asian, female ("unless she's a 10"), Catholic, or a corn-eater (because he called everyone in Iowa "stupid"). "You know what?" Colbert said. "Maybe Trump might be more comfortable if he couldn't tell a judge's race or gender — maybe cover the judge up in an unbiased robe, make it a white robe, maybe with a matching hood. That seems about right. Don't know who it is — gotta be fair."
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