Donald Trump says his speeches are so good you can't enjoy a date night at the movies anymore
Donald Trump was supposed to give a nine-sentence critique of Hillary Clinton in Pennsylvania Saturday night, but since this is Donald Trump, he gave a 25-minute rant instead. In it, Trump explained how his masterful rhetorical skill has ruined a classic date night tradition for Americans everywhere.
"Right now, you say to your wife: 'Let's go to a movie after Trump,'" he said. "But you won't do that because you'll be so high and so excited that no movie is going to satisfy you. Okay? No movie. You know why? Honestly? Because they don't make movies like they used to — is that right?"
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Among Trump's other topics for the evening — no doubt chosen by that same impulse of selflessness — were Brexit, Bernie Sanders, the media, monitoring "certain areas" for election fraud, and whether Clinton is faithful to her husband.
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