Good week for:
Making amends, after an 83-year-old Salt Lake City man said to be “wracked with guilt” paid off a $1 tab at a restaurant where he “dined and dashed” as a 10-year-old. The man waited outside while his daughter handed $5 to a waitress to cover the meal, plus 70 years of interest.
Low-speed chases, after Royal Canadian Mounted Police commandeered a snowmobile to pursue a burglary suspect making his getaway on a stolen tractor, which stalled going up a hill. The chase “certainly had some unique nuances,” said a Mountie.
The University of Connecticut, which won both the men’s and women’s NCAA basketball championships, with the men beating Kentucky, and the women topping Notre Dame.
Bad week for:
The evil empire, after Ukrainian authorities banned a man who changed his name to “Darth Vader” from running in the country’s upcoming presidential election, suspecting he was being paid by Russia to discredit the vote.
Justice, after a New York City court stenographer allegedly went rogue and typed “I hate my job” over and over instead of trial dialogue in 30 different cases. The bad transcripts may imperil convictions in at least 10 cases that are on appeal.
Saying ‘cheese,’ after workers at a Russian cheese factory posed naked for a social media photo taking a joint bath in a vat of raw milk. “We support local business,” said one customer, “and they insult us like this by washing their filthy bodies in the food.”