Marc Ambinder

A taxonomy of selfies

That young woman who took the selfie after her plane blew a tire and skidded off the runway? I identify. I'd do it too. I think we all would, assuming we didn't have other things to worry about, like injuries, or fellow human beings requiring aid and attention.

Why do we take so many selfies? Even we semi-sane, literate people, those of us who read books in our spare time? Well, selfies help us mark the moment in history, and help us remember. Selfies are experiential catalogs.

It's a mad, mad, mad, mad, vain, aggressive, competitive world. And we like the attention.

It's time to start subdividing the selfie into different categories. They might not exist in nature, but they certainly reveal something about ours.

I've identified eight types of regularly occurring selfies. How many types have you taken? (ABC's "The Selfie" might want to pay attention.)

The Delphie: A picture that predicts an imminent disaster.

The Dumbfie: A selfie you really just shouldn't take.

The Tellfie: A picture is worth a thousand words. This type of selfie tells a story.

The Schrunchie: A face-distorting selfie generally accompanied by gratuitous, exhibitionistic nudity.

The Buffie: The half-naked selfie you take at the gym, after you've worked out.

The Brofie: When you're out with the guys or the gals, and love and booze are in the air, it's time for a brofie.

The Gellfie: The picture you take right after you've got that rocking new hairdo. (It must include product of some kind)

The Wealfie: When you've gotten something new, and/or expensive, and you've got to show it off, because life's a contest, you know. Or just you, and your money.

Recommended

A company made a meatball from lab-grown woolly mammoth, and you can't try it
Mammoth meatball
'extinct protein'

A company made a meatball from lab-grown woolly mammoth, and you can't try it

6 marvelous homes with great kitchens
House
Feature

6 marvelous homes with great kitchens

The Check-In: How to plan a trip to Antarctica
Penguins on an iceberg
Feature

The Check-In: How to plan a trip to Antarctica

The Week contest: Seaweed invasion
sargassum seaweed.
Feature

The Week contest: Seaweed invasion

Most Popular

How to watch 5 planets align in the night sky on Tuesday
Moon, Jupiter, Venus.
skyline

How to watch 5 planets align in the night sky on Tuesday

'Rewilding' animals could help combat climate change, study finds
Two gray wolves.
where the wild things are

'Rewilding' animals could help combat climate change, study finds

Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe is going to be a dad
Erin Darke and Daniel Radcliffe
harry potter and the dadly hallows

Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe is going to be a dad